Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Game 39: Bruins vs. Thrashers: NOT DON CHERRY NIGHT

Game 39
7:00 PM, December 30th
NESN, 98.5 FM
v. Atlanta Thrashers

Well this was going to be a celebration of Don Cherry but he's not coming tonight so nevermind. Who is coming? The Thrashers are coming. If the Bruins hadn't put up 3 goals in 1:08 last wednesday we might have lost to them, so here's hoping Ondrej is in net for Atlanta again tonight. (he is!) Here's how the teams match up, stats-wise:
Congratulations to Chara, Sturm, Krejci, and Bergeron for making their respective Olympic teams. Team USA will be announced right after the Winter Classic.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009



Bruins couldn't score for shit last night, but hopefully when I return to blogging for-real we'll see some scoring again.

Also holy crap if you're clicking my link from Puck Daddy I usually do better.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Happy Boxing Day!

From P.J. Stock:

The best thing that happened in the pooh-bear sweaters, ever.

I met a habs fan at the Boston@Leafs game that was wearing one. Because of this fight. Really.


Saturday, December 19, 2009


Hello / Bonjour
I am typing this from behind enemy lines. / Je suis tapant cette derrière les lignes ennemies.
I fear that I will be found out soon. / Je crains que je vais être trouvé prochainement.
Tell my wife I said, "Hello." /Dis à ma femme, je l'ai dit, "Bonjour".
Meet me at Air Canada Center / Rendez-vous au centre Air Canada
7 PM Tonight / 7 h ce soir


Friday, December 18, 2009

Game 33 Preview: Bruins @ Blackhawks BATTLE OF BASEBALL WINTER CLASSIC HOSTS

See! The incredible flying Wheeler!
Game 33
8:30 PM, December 18, 2009
NESN, NHL Network, 98.5FM
at Chicago Blackhawks (21-8-3)

I had a couple choices when picking out pictures. I chose that one. Here are the two I was looking at instead:
I think I made the right choice.

The Blackhawks have a lot of talk about their potent offense, but don't forget they've also got the fewest goals against in the league. Shit. Welp, we're boned.

This either is going to be a ridiculous blowout or a tight game. I expect the Bruins to lose both. I'll take $100 on red, please. Not to be a debbie downer or anything.

Oh, and one more thing: the last time the Bruins played in Chicago, these were your three stars:

Why yes, these are the top 2 PKs in the league. Why do you ask?
Anyhow, I'm off to Toronto this weekend to watch the Bruins play the Leafs AGAIN! HAHA! I'll have pictures when I get back, for sure. Just don't expect many updates this weekend, unless one of my other writers wants to step up (hint hint). All of that aside,

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Revenge of the Lazy Links

First of all, if you like to hear what I have to say about various Bruins topics, please head on over to Somethings Bruin to check out part 1 and part 2 of the round-table discussion I participated in last night. It was fun to talk about the team with some fellow bloggers and I'm sure somebody reading will disagree with something I said, so go ahead and let me know.

  • No really: check out part 1 and part 2 of the round-table discussion
  • In other news, Mark Stuart is out 4-6 weeks with a broken sternum, due to playing with too much heart.
  • As a result, here's a tweet from someone at practice:
  • Dennis Wideman won't leave on the road trip with the team, but could join them later.
  • Derek Morris is hurt too, but he'll travel with the team.
  • Yeah, did you look at that tweet up there? That top line has a pair of deadly cannons from the blue-line, and of course Wozniewski was leading the AHL in points earlier this year. Also, this:

Are you shitting me, Andy Wozniewski?
  • McQuaid is making his NHL debut. He'll play with Hunwick.
  • Somebody hold me, this defense is scary.
In non-Bruins news:
Yeah, I got nothing else.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

L10: Games 21-30 (8-1-1) THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, BABY! WOOOOOOO

Ho boy, those Bruins sure do like to yuk it up. I mean, come on. Letting the leafs almost come back from being down 3-0? LAUGH RIOT!

No, really though, I'm not recapping thursday night's great game with the two Mark Recchi goals and such. I'm going to leave it at this face right here, the face of a champion:

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Or at least the face of a man one assist away from a Gordie Howe Hat Trick. Awesome.

Anyhow, here's how the Bruins did over their last ten games:

They're 30 games in and half of the wins of the season have come after game 20. That's pretty ridiculous. I'd say they're back and all but I know Two Line Pass would just ridicule me. My poor blogging heart couldn't take it.

Moving on, let's look at some important stats:

The Bruins' power play percentage. Up from 12.86 ten games ago, the Bruins now have the 21st-best power play rather than worst last time. 1835 was quite the year, as Charles Darwin got to a galapagos, Hans Christian Anderson put out his first book of fairy tales, Andrew Jackson almost got assassinated, and Mark Twain was born.

Tuukk-Nuukkem's save percentage. He's third in the league. Pretty soon I'll have to write another In Defense Of... post about Tim Thomas. Yeah, maybe. Either way, Miller for Team USA starter right now.

The Bruins' penalty kill percentage. Don't look now, but it's the tops in the league. Hell yeah. That's really been helping the Bruins get some wins. They don't allow a whole lot of powerplay goals against.

0-0-0, -3
Phil Kessel's stat line against the Bruins. Spite? No. I just want that first-rounder to turn out well. (Ok, it's spite but that's sports.)

Yeah, so basically the Bruins are getting their game on (and Marc Savard back). Lucic should be returning soon enough. The next ten games have a couple highlights, book-ended by Flyers games and capped off with game 40 on January 1st, the Winter Classic. Should be a good time.

Oh, and before I forget you should watch this video if you haven't already:

and the man in the back/ said everyone attack/ and he passed it up to Byron Bitz/ Byyyyyyron Bitz

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Game 30 Preview: Bruins vs. Toronto BLAKE WHEELER IS A SAINT

Game 30
December 10, 2009, 7:00 PM
NESN, 98.5 FM
vs. Toronto Maple Leafs (10-13-7)

Last time we played, we played the leafs at home. The next post down will tell you all about it, or if you don't like reading here's a pretty accurate recap I saw on Down Goes Brown:

Delightful, no?

Anyhow, the Leafs have won the 2 games since then, giving them their first winning streak of the year. In fact, they're 7-2-1 in the last ten, which is also where the Bruins are in those last ten. As this is game 30, I'm of course hoping for a 7-2-1 record in the headline of the next L10 article. I don't know if Savard will be able to pot another three goals but if Bergeron can slice through the defense like a hot knife through butter we'll be in for some good times.

I expect this to be a tougher game than Saturday's and to be honest quite a bit closer.


Orange highlights the better stat. It's actually a pretty even split.
On game at a time. Should be a bunch of fights. Blake Wheeler first career fight maybe? Maybe. The Leafs didn't like him dumping Ian White into the boards for some reason...

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Yeah, so I missed a couple games. Basically, if you're getting all of your bruins news from this blog (hi mom! I'll come up from the basement in a couple months) then I have been remiss. Here's what I missed, in Hockey Blog Adventure headline form:

Bruins manage a shootout win, find themselves close to first in the division as a result.
James Wright has an okay game, rest of Tampa doesn't. Good defense, some scoring.
Don't even bring it up. There was some cool shit, but basically it just has me lusting for 15 years from now when the Bruins get their own version of this:

Look, I'm not a habs fan by any stretch of the imagination, but that right there is pretty awesome. Was the no-voiceover on CBC as well, or was it some internet-stream camera? Either way, sweet video if you appreciate hockey history. Then the Bruins shat all over themselves and lost. Go figure, a habs team that has no business beating the Bruins goes ahead and does it. Whatever. Happy birthday montreal, here's to a 4-1-1 record against them.

Which brings us to the most recent Bruins game, Toronto at Boston.

Now of course Phil Kessel plays for Toronto now, joining other former Bruins luminaries as Joey Macdonald, Colton Orr, and Wayne Primeau. He apparently told Marc Savard not to sign with Boston (and probably come to Toronto, of course) so that's a pretty good reason to not like him if your first couple run out. Either way, lets look back at the game, no? I mean, it was pretty sweet.

To start off with, the Garden crowd was in rare form last night. Every time Kessel touched the puck, people booed. It was awesome. The other great part was that every time he touched the puck, a Bruin got real close real fast. Kessel got 2 shots on net, was a -3, and had 16:28 of ice time. And with the Leafs' best player by far shut down, the rest was...

A little over 5 minutes in, there's a faceoff in the offensive zone. Bergeron shows up to play, and wins the draw. Back to Sturm, who gives it to Morris. They move it up and down the right side of the zone and Morris one-times it in. The puck bounces off Bergeron and Sturm and the back of the net.
Hell yeah, baby. Goal for Berge-Sturm.

The leafs know that they should take the crowd out of the game if they want to do better here. So naturally they goad Shawn Thornton into a fight. It's not like he's a fan-favorite pugilist looking to back up his truculence in the Pride Motor Group commercial. Colton Orr is all, "does it come in red?" Here's the fight, called by Hockey Night In Canada In Punjab:

They both land some good hits, Shawn Thornton gets half a takedown before Orr gets back up and they hug it out.

It works wonders, because the Leafs keep the Bruins off the scoreboard for the next 32 seconds.

The Bruins are working it around in the offensive zone and Wheeler gets it back to Chara. Chara shuffles across the blue line and then wrists it in, ready for a deflection. Bitz deflects it off his body somehow and Marc Savard's bright, beautiful, dreamy blue eyes see the puck. A quick scoop and everyone in the arena sees a red light go on.
Savard. Marc Savard.

A couple minutes later Mark "Down for whatever" Stuart and Jamal Mayers try to fight, but the Refs don't give them the satisfaction of fighting majors.

Sturm gets a slashing call to close out the first. So far so good.

Second Period.

About 2 minutes in Chara grabs the puck just inside the zone after Kessel flubs it and then Chara lightly wrists it just over everyone. It's a really slow shot, actually, but if that's how Chara scores then I don't care if his pucks are slower than a Wakefield fastball.

And it's on. Blake Wheeler is getting all kinds of people after him tonight, and Colton Orr takes a solid 4-minute penalty. That gets killed, then Ian White decides to be a hooker. More powerplay? Why not? Of course the Bruins PP is still pretty crap, so when Derek Morris passes it up and Savard and Ryder enter the zone you expect they won't get much out of it. Savard loops it around the boards to Ryder, who then comes behind the net and does a quick pass to Savard waiting on the doorstep.
Huge goal. Reminds me of the game against the lightning. I wonder if the Bruins will be able to have a better third in this game? Hrmmmmmmmm....

Third Period.
Vesa (Toskala): He's everywhere you want him to be (if you're a scorer).

Matt Stajan takes a tripping penalty. Yes, I do believe I will have seconds on the powerplay scoring. It was just so delicious. I know it will go straight to my stats, but I JUST DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW.

Neither does Tuukka Rask. Tuukka settles the puck behind his net, leaving it for Patrice. Bergeron skates it up the ice, Recchi by his side. Bergeron and Recchi, and if they're not passing back and forth Bergeron makes it look like they do. Patrice skates through all 4 leafs. Literally through them. Look, here he is:

Oh hell yeah. Tuukka Rask has more points than Phil Kessel in the game.

But the game isn't over yet. Through the first half of the period, the bruins scored one. They enter the zone about 12 minutes in and Krejci skates the puck around a little. Boychuk pinches in and one-times it from the top of the circle. They weren't kidding about Boychuk's shot as it was probably the hardest shot of the night. There's a loud crack, followed by a siren. No, you didn't just get shot. Vesa did. But he let it get by him anyhow.
There are a lot of fangirls on twitter that are VERY happy about this one.

Yeah, that's a pretty good score. Off the faceoff, Savard wins it. They get into the zone. Savard to Wheeler, Wheeler gives it back and the leaf defensemen shift over to block savard's notorious point shot. Marc drives his aston-martin up the halfwall and converts it to underwater mode. Walther PPK's a wrist shot right past The Man Who Blew Too Much - Vesa Toskala.
What kind of hat does james bond even wear?
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Well this game is over. Jamal Mayers finally gets that fight he's been looking for all game, goading Steve Begin into a little throwdown. In that after Mayers throws a few punches, Steve Begin throws him down. Here's a link why not?

Mayers does manage to swing the momentum away from the Bruins, and the leafs manage to score 2 afterwards. Excellent game. It's a shame Rask doesn't get the shutout against his former team, but you can only ask for so much. In between the 2 Toronto Goals, Ference and Stempniak get double-minors because the refs don't want to hand them each a one-game suspension for a fight. Great job, refs!

Take us home, Steve. We're too busy celebrating to remember the way.

Hell yeah what now?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Game 26 Recap? Fuck you. GAME 27 PREVIEW: SEEN STAMKOS? Nah. Today it's all Savard

Yeah, things have continued to be a little crazy around here so I haven't been writing as much.

Whatever. Look, I think Savard took the AWESOME DEAL he took because look at this (cribbed from Stanley Cup of Chowder, where you should really be rocking the gamethreads):
Year 1: $7 million
Year 2: $7 million
Year 3: $6.5 million
Year 4: $5 million
Year 5: $1.5 million
Year 6: $525,000
Year 7: $525,000

Now do the math: 7+7+6.5+5+1.5+.525+.525=
28.05 million total
Now we take that total number and divide by the length of the contract, namely
7 years
and what do we get?
4.007 cap hit. Yeah. That's about 1 million less than the cap hit we've got for him right now. Except it's not quite 1 million less.

We've added on .007

Marc Savard passes like he was James Bond seducing a woman, or killing a goon, or whatever, is what I'm saying.

"When the contract is over Marc Savard will have turned into Marc Recchi" - Greg Nation, friend of the blog

And if you like the numerology, check out this video here:


Saturday, November 28, 2009


Well, on the whole that was pretty alright. The Bruins won, the Bruins got 3 out of 4 points, and the wild got a point out of it and then went on to get Chuck Kobasew a hat trick the next game, against the Avalanche. Baller.

Bergeron actually figured into neither of the regulation goals by the bruins. On the score-sheet, at least. Marc Savard figured into both. Savard had two secondary assists. Both games went to shootout, and the Wild put Chuck Kobasew out as the 4th shooter after Krejci scored a beauty of a goal.

Against the devils, well....not so hot. Brodeur played well as usual, and hey! Even set a record for most minutes by an NHL goalie during the game. Roy was better, but we weren't playing Roy in the middle of the day Friday.

All in all pretty good on the whole, and the Bruins are on the hottest streak they've had all year...woof.

Oh and Steve Lepore of Puck the Media has a devils logo in his twitter avatar on top of another devils logo. (hi steve!)


Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Game 24
8pm ET, November 25, 2009
NESN, 98.5 FM / KSTC, 830 AM (Wild Radio Network)
at Minnesota Wild (15th, 8-12-2)

So this morning I'm on my way into work and I've got a bruins hoodie over a Wild sweater. Awesome. Once again, my two favorite teams are playing each other again. Brilliant.

The Wild lead the league in short-handed goals against while the Bruins are tied for 5th in short-handed goals, thanks to Marco Sturm's ridiculous goal against the Blues. No really, I don't think that's talked about enough. Granted, Mason basically tosses it out to Bergeron who just puts it on his stick, but then Marco does this little move and Mason just doesn't even know what the fuck. Go ahead, watch it again. Here's the link. I'll wait.

Actually, no I won't. It's time to talk staches. Owen Nolan, oldest player in the league now that Chelios is ou- Wait a minute. The oldest player is actually Owen Nolan, the only guy over 40 playing right now. Owen Nolan is comparitively a spry 37. Last year he led the Wild in goals with 25. 25 goals led the Wild last year. Where am I going with this? Here's him, celebrating one of those goals:Stache city. The Bruins will have to go into the Xcel Energy Center ready to deal with Old Man "Irish God of War" Nolan and the Mustache he brings. BUT WAIT - THERE IS A CONTENDER.
Fucking motherfucking Patrice motherfucking Bergeron in the house, y'all. Don't even sweat. Kid can dish, he can hit, he can score, he probably did your mom last night, but he's a gentleman - he'll call her again.

Speaking of dishing, here's a gent who you may recognize (or maybe not - he does play in the west and not on the red wings): Mikko Koivu. The Wild's top center, he's the brother of former habs captain (now Anaheim second-line center and buddy with Teemu Selanne) Saku Koivu and now is the Wild's first permanent captain.

Like it was even a question.

Other notables on the Wild: Cal Clutterbuck set an NHL record for recorded hits in an NHL season last year, having an awesome name.

Brent Burns is a really good defenseman, but is out indefinitely with a concussion. Brent Burns also turned his house into a menagerie. It's awesome.

One of my favorite hockey writers, Mike Russo, is the Wild beat writer for the Star Tribune.

Oh and their goalie is a Finn, too. Oh yes. Niklas Backstrom, baby. Calm under pressure.
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He won the Jennings trophy with Manny Fernandez 3 years ago. Manny won it with Thomas last year. Now Manny's back is fucked and he's not playing anywhere. But we have this kid Tuukka Rask who's pretty alright. Where is he from? OH YEAH FINLAND FUCK YEAH!!!!!

Basically I'm really pumped for this game. Catch y'all in the game threads on Stanley Cup of Chowder and Hockey Wilderness, and I might check to see if my old login a the Wild official boards still works.....nah.

Oh, and Chris over at Hub Hockey is relentless in tracking things down. This time, he's got the Pride Motor Group commercial with Shawn Motherfucking Thornton:

Anyhow, party at my house tonight. Here's some stats and I'm out.
(Orange=good. Green=applies here)

(For the record, I do want the Bruins to win this game. I just want it to be in overtime, is all.)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Steve Lepore over at Puck the Media released his list of the best blogs, team-by-team, and this little blog right here is representing the Bruins blogs. HOORAY! I'm in such good company as the pensblog, hockey independent, St. Louis Game Time, and Pension Plan Puppets.

Thanks to Steve for the nod, and I almost want to take back all the terrible things I've said about him behind his ba-

uh...thanks to Steve for his extremely interesting interview with my favorite bruins play-by-play announcer, Jack Edwards! Yes! Nice recovery, go with it.

And what I mean by go with it is


Well I haven't written in a few days and those dang Bruins keep on winning games so maybe I should just shut down the blog and never write again in the hopes the Bruins never lose another game. Then again the Wild are tomorrow and the Bruins have only beat them once so maybe we'll stay open for now.

Regardless, here's the deal: PATRICE BERGERON is awesome. Yes, yes, Milan Lucic is back and that's wonderful. Yes, Marc Savard is back (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS) but let's take some time for the Patrice Bergeron Appreciation station. There's some traffic up ahead, I apologize for the delay.

In the two games I've neglected to cover so far, Patrice is only a +2 despite having 1 goal and 4 assists. He's figured into all but 1 of the 6 goals in the last 2 games, and the one he didn't started with TUUUUUUUUUKK so we'll spot him that.

In the Buffalo game, we had some unbridled awesome going on - First of all, TUUUUUKK passes one up to Bitz. Bitz puts it on Lucic's stick and Lucic's stick puts it on net. This is a great goal right now, but not when Lucic is scoring on Miller in the Olympics. (USA! USA! USA!)

The Bergeron goal in the Buffalo game was pretty slick as well. In what I'm sure was a set play, the Bruins face off in the offensive zone. Bergeron gets it to Chara. Chara wrists it in, Bergeron taps it down a bit and Miller's got no chance. Again, good to see now but I don't want Chara scoring on Miller in the Olympics, either.


In the Blues game, there was a lot of scoring one after another. First the Bruins score on a powerplay. Yeah, a powerplay. A goal. On a powerplay. A real one. The puck went in their net and we had more guys on the ice. WHAT?

Whatever, I'll take it. Mark Recchi snares a rebound out of the air and bounce-passes it through Mason into the net. Awesome.

Blues tie it back up while we're trying to get the puck to start a penalty. Jerks.

Then the Bruins go on the power play again. "Oh brother" you think, "a power play against the 2nd-best PK in the league. This should be fu-WHEELER!!!! WOOOOOOOO" as Bergeron puts it across the slot (past Recchi - I think - in front of the net) to Wheeler and Wheeler just buries it. That's 2! 2 power play goals! ah ah ah ah

The Blues continue to be jerks and tie it up again. But that's where their party ends.

Bergeron gets the puck to Chara, who blasts one in. Lucic tips it down and Mason's got nothing. The SLGT folks keep cheering "Masonry" when he's making some slick saves, though.

Then - uh oh - the Bruins take a penalty. Oh wait, no biggie, just keep Patrice and Marco out there and we'll see what happe-SHORTHANDER? bwahahahahahhahahahaha

Plenty of sturmface going around.

Excellent. Excellent play, so happy Savard is back so Patrice gets to play against second-tier players. So happy Lucic is back and seems to be all about hitting folks all the time. He can't fight, of course, but if he scores and hits that's enough for me.

Friday, November 20, 2009


Well that was certainly something. The Bruins are 6-0-0 when leading by 2 at some point in the game, as well as 5-0 -0 when leading after the second period.

The Bruins are 3-3 in the shootout. It's not as bad as you think. Sure, they've only scored 4 goals total on the shootout, but that just means we have killer goaltending. For now, I'm not sure what Thomas was out with but it's apparently an undisclosed lower body injury or something. I missed the first period, so I only know what twitter told me about that.

And now, onto Evan's favorite part, the RECAP! WOOOOOOOOOO

Game starts off and pretty early on Marco scores a goal. I'm still getting updates from twitter. My favorite is probably this one:Yeah.

Anyways they won the game even though TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKK had to face kovalchuk in the shootout.

Wheeler had a great move but lost the puck going the wrong direction and instead of trickling between the goalie's pads like last year it went past the goalpost. So close.

Whatever, Bergeron owns.

And they play buffalo tonight. No preview, crazy day at work. Deal with it, I have to.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Game 21 Preview: Bruins at Thrashers LUCIC LUCIC LUCIC LUCIC LUCIC

Game 21
November 19, 2001 7:00 PM ET
NESN, 98.5 FM
at Atlanta Thrashers (10-6-1)

So the big news for this game is that Savard and Lucic are both off of the LTIR list and Lucic flew down to join the team. Lucic is expected to play tonight, Savard should start Monday. Good news! Maybe we'll actually get over .500 right now. Or maybe we'll have two lottery picks for the draft (in which case DRAFT PARTY).

Pavelec in net, Thomas was off first but Tuukka was right behind. We'll see if we get a euro-goalie duel or if Thomas v. Kovalchuk rules the day. Either way, look out for Kovy and Peverly and whoever else is on the te-AFINOGENOV? WHAT?

Well that's a surprise. If this were 10 years ago, this whole preview would be afinogenov v. recchi (I think...who knows?) but it's not, and well who knows. blah blah blah powerplay still sucks blah blah blah.

Pre-game, the second season of the Instigators is on at 6pm. You better believe I'll be checking in until I want to play modern warfare 2 instead.

Also, it wouldn't be an Atlanta game preview without one of these pictures:
Looks like Lil' Jon has won more Playoff games than the Thrashers. (BURN)
Would you look at all that orange going the wrong way? Woof.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Harrumph. 3-4-3 is not a good record by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, it could be worse. With our superstar center Marc Savard out, the Bruins aren't doing so hot. Let's take a look at where we stack up...

We've been at this record or so for pretty much the whole year. You don't make the playoffs at .500. You don't get a lottery pick either, unless Toronto comes through. In his season preview, Down Goes Brown mentioned that the Bruins lockerroom chemistry would suffer because they're not united by wanting to punch Phil Kessel in the face. They'll get a chance in a couple weeks, so maybe that will help. Oh, and Savard and Lucic coming back.


This is the Bruins PP percentage. It is the worst in the league. In the year 1286, King Philip IV of France imposed the gabelle — a tax on salt in the form of a state monopoly — which would become immensely unpopular and grossly unequal, but persist until 1790. I'm still waiting for flying cars, here, people, and we're regressing. Please come back and save us all, Mr. Savard.


This is the Bruins PK percentage, good for 3rd best behind San Jose and Chicago. Damn right, we've got the best PK in the east right now. The Bruins have been shutting down PKs and vomiting all over themselves on PPs. Google tells me that there was a "Species 8472" in one of the star treks after The Next Generation, so who cares really, but I went to all the effort of checking it out and now you're reading it so who's got the egg on their face now?

Thank you to the Minnesota Wild (dammit) and the Anaheim Ducks (haha, eat shit) for having more Short-handed goals against than the Bruins do.


This is the Bruins Simple Rating System number for today. Higher is better, and yes it can go positive. This is good for 19th best, which is actually slightly better than their points percentage rankings. 22 is Shawn Thornton's jersey number. Not sure what the significance is of that, if anyone out there reading this (hi mom!) is a numerologist, please get in touch or leave a comment.

Toronto First round draft pick watch: 3-11-5 (29th in the league): TYLER SEGUIN!
Tyler is the #1 ranked OHL player right now, which is the league Taylor Hall plays in. Carolina looks to be Tanking for TH right now, though. Oh look, the two teams play each other tomorrow. Root for Aaron Ward, guys!

Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Hum-hoom, nothing to see here.


And that was a pretty sweet goal. This is the only good thing about this game. Except I saw some college friends there, and that was nice. Otherwise...

Here's to gelling on the road (and Lucic and Savard both traveling with the team! Hope is on the way!)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Game 20 Preview: Bruins vs. Islanders ON A MONDAY I WAS ARRESTED UH HUH

Game 20
7pm ET, November 16, 2009
NESN, 98.5 FM
v. New York Islanders (7-6-7)

Well let's see here...Still no Savard or Lucic, but the Islanders are missing Rick Dipietro (out with blinging retirement since making 1 million a game last year)

Here's an interesting thing over at If the Islanders bought out Dipietro right now, he'd draw a salary of 1.5 million/year until 2032, and that counts against the cap. Rick will turn 51 in 2032. For comparison sake, Alexei Yashin is still on the books for the Islanders until 2015. Their cap management makes Chiarelli look good! Hooray!

Tavares has about a million points in the last 2 games or something (4g 3a in 4gp) so look out for him or Okposo to light it up. Woof.

When deciding which jersey to wear to work, I figured Thomas might not start. So we'll probably see him tonight. Islanders goalies have been rotating and it's Martin Biron's turn, who knows? Left Wing Lock knows. (when the logo turns opaque, the goalie is a confirmed start - hey, that line reminds me of that line in Ghostbusters about the ghost-holding thing they've got.)


As you can tell, I've been getting a lot of sleep and definitely not playing Modern Warfare 2 until all hours of the night, I swear.

See? 0.1 percent more points out of total points. Don't write off the season just yet.
At least the Bruins can't go for it on 4th and 2.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Game 19 Preview: Bruins at Pens UH OH BORSCHTETTIOS

Game 19
7:30 PM, November 14, 2009
NESN, 98.5 FM
vs. Pittsburgh Penguins (12-7-0)

Thomas in net, I'd assume Fleury will be too.

Superstar (Malkin) coming back from injury? Check.
Team having scoring problems? Check.
Recently shut out the other team? Check.

I've got a bad feeling about this...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Game 18 Preview: Bruins vs. Panthers #GETJACKEDWARDSONTWITTER

Game 18
November 12, 2009
7:00 PM
vs. Florida Panthers (5-9-1)

The key to the game is to get Jack Edwards on Twitter. F'real. If you're going and haven't left yet, head over to hubhockey and pick up some sweeeeeeet posters for the game. Or for future games. It's a movement, people.

Also of note: As yesterday was remembrance day for most of our team and veteran's day for Hunwick, Thomas, Stuart, and Wheeler.

P.K. Axelsson just had a baby and has put up at least 3 assists in his two games since.

Lucic was skating this morning, he's planning on being back for the game against Atlanta next week.

This tweet is vibrating.

Game 16 and 17 Recaps THIS BLOG IS UNDER REVIEW

I didn't see game 16 because I had a friend's band's show, but that's never stopped me from recapping before.

The Bruins took heart from actually scoring in the previous game (a week ago as I type this) and went, well....

p.s. I have an irrational hate for Jason Pominville. I don't know why, but I don't know why I should stop. Pominville, Population: Douchebag.

Then the Penguins (well, half of them anyhow) came to play on Tuesday, but the Bruins came to play even more. Hunwick scored even if the ref didn't believe it, and then that funny bounce was ridiculous. Here's a chatlog with friend of the blog Greg Nation about the game since I don't have time to write my usual stuff:

11:19 AM Greg: i was very impressed by whittman's and bitz's performance
last night
11:20 AM and of course, Tim Thomas wins the Tim Thomas award for last night
incredible goaltending
me: whitfield
Greg: hell fleury had some ridiculous saves too, but not enough
whitfield, yes, sorry
me: yeah, I hear that
11:21 AM most scary penguin when on the ice? Probably Staal
11:22 AM Greg: yeah we shut down crosby
11:24 AM me: Chara owned
we blocked so many damn shots
10-2 shots after the first
11:25 AM Greg: yeah our D did block a lot of shots
11:26 AM Morris had a huge game defensively, Wideman had that sick one-on-one where he deftly used his stick to break up the attack
11:27 AM me: Wideman also tripped over the blue-line right before that
he has breakdowns but when he's good he's pretty damn good
11:29 AM Greg: yeah, i thought we played pretty well
it was such a fast paced game, very fun to watch
me: you bet
Greg: and that crazy bounce that sent the puck off the post when thomas was out of net
then the diving thomas save to knock it out
me: that was INSANE
11:30 AM Greg: he has such a strong stick arm, people take shots with two hands on the stick and he just whaps their stick and puck out of the way with his one hand
like the recent habs game with 'big whiffer'
he just stopped the shot and shoved the puck back out with his stick hand
11:31 AM me: Thomas owns



Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Game 1? Preview: Penguins at Bruins EASY-READER EDITION

Stanley Cup Champs?More like Shitsburgh Shameguins.

That said, this was cool:

Ference has done this too, a couple times with the empty net. Ference and Crosby fought, once. I think that makes that a goalie fight. Disagree? Leave it in the comments (or yell from your seat, whatever)

Krejci's back, Ryder is back (skipped practice yesterday), Derek Morris is a gametime decision and if he doesn't play we'll see Boychuk. I'm extremely busy so you haven't seen much from me.

The game's on Versus tonight, so if you have DirecTV now's a great time to get center ice for free.

Deal with it.

Friday, November 6, 2009


Yup, we lost. To the habs. At home. First meeting of the year. Woof. It was a pretty even game - Thomas has been playing well but the Bruins couldn't score worth shit. They made Carey look like some kind of NHL goalie, which is exactly the OPPOSITE of what we want to happen.

Regardless... Montreal scored in the first and the Bruins continued to play well defensively throughout the period, but couldn't get any pucks past Caaaaaaaaaareeeeeeeeeeey

Second period blah blah blah continue shutout against streak something something 1929 blah blah blah.

Oh and this:

Gionta whiffed on it. Incidentally there was a habs fan behind me yelling "go big wiffa! hey big wiffa!" for most of the night.

With a little over a minute to go, Thomas is pulled and Chara goes to the net. He stands in front, and uses his mass to gravitationally pull all the defenders and goalie to him, so when the point shot gets a side rebound, Patrice just has to pop it in. And we go to overtime!
blah blah blah shootout blah blah blah bruins can't score

Well, at least they scored, I guess.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Game 15 Preview: Bruins vs. Habs LET'S SCORE THIS TIME READY GO

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaarreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey or HAL GILL SUCKS HAL GILL SUCKS? Life is full of difficult decisions...
Game 15
7pm, 5th November 2009
NESN, 98.5 FM
vs. Habs (7-8-0)

So half the storyline/chant for tonight's game is out for a couple weeks with a hairline fracture in his foot. Probably just took root, though.

Krejci is out with Swine Flu, unfortunately. He'll be out until he has no fever or symptoms for 24 hours. Get well soon, kiddo.

In the meantime, bruins blog has posted tonight's lineup. Let's take a look at that center slot, eh?

Patrice Bergeron.
Status: Baller, shot-caller.

Vladimir Sobotka.
Status: The Littlest Big Checking Czech

Steve Begin.
Status: Wretched little shit* playing his old team for the first time in Black and Gold.

*That would be OUR wretched little shit.

Trent Whitfield.
Status: MURDER (please?)


So those are our centers. Currently missing from the lineup: Savard, Krejci, Bitz, Lucic. On the other hand, 18% of the NHL has been on IR so far, and the Canucks are especially bad - even their callups are getting hurt.

Thomas was off the ice first and I'm hoping 09 playoffs thomas shows up instead of 08 playoffs Thomas, since this team can't score for shit.

Price is also in net, and well.....

He's currently rocking a 3.64 GAA and .883 SV%. Note: this is actually better than he was in the playoffs last year. bwahahahaha

But we're missing a lot of guys from that playoff team right now, either to trades or free agency or players whining their way out of Boston for some first-round picks. Anyhow, there are some road-trippers from Montreal coming to the game, make sure to remind them of last year before the game in case the game doesn't remind anyone of last year.

Speaking of habs fans, if you've made it this far you should jump on over to Four Habs Fans and see how team despair is done! (seriously, one of these days I'm going to Montreal for a game and probably to arm-wrestle HF10 or something)


One way or another,

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


The Bruins haven't scored in the last 132:58 of ice time, despite coming close a couple times last night in the first. Osgood and the post managed to save near-goals by the Bruins, and then Datsyuk set up a Holmstrom and Zetterberg goal.

The second and third periods had both teams playing pretty well and nobody scoring. Blergh.



The Bruins have to get their shit together, and hit the net. They haven't scored on the Powerplay since Derek Morris bombed one in a long time ago, and they're not able to get inside the slot area at all. It's hard to score when every shot has to go through 3-7 guys before even getting to the goalie. Look at the great chances Sturm had, where he was right at the net and got the puck. There's something for putting a guy in front to tip in goals, but there's really no substitute for close-up, in-the-slot shots. The Bruins need to do that. Sobotka on the powerplay didn't result in a goal, but at this point - why the hell not?

If you need a quick pick-me-up, Hockey Legends features the 1939 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins in the classic snapshot. FRANK BRIMSEK Y'ALL. Click the picture to get a larger version.

Phil Kessel played last night, got laid out, didn't score but had 10 shots. Down Goes Brown talks about that.

If there's anyone left on the bandwagon, hang tight. With a lighter load, it will go faster and be bumpier. Keep the noise level to a maximum. Same seats, everyone!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Game 14
7pm Nov. 3rd, 2009
Versus, 98.5
vs. Detroit Red Wings (5-4-3)

Thomas and Osgood in net, Detroit's missing Franzen and has overall been in a slump, Bruins have as well. Going by the streak, this one should be a win but that means we're losing to the Habs on Thursday and nobody wants that.

Mailing it in as usual, enjoy the game on Versus unless you have DirecTV and then ask where the channel is and then get free center ice if you can swing it.

Monday, November 2, 2009


Yeah ok so I didn't put anything up post-game on halloween or the morning after but I was not alone in that. Either way, The Bruins played twice over the weekend, both were afternoon games. The Bruins are playing a league-high 19 afternoon games this season, or about %23. This annoys me greatly, it always throws me off when I get out of a game and it's still light out. Thankfully winter and the end of daylight savings time will take care of that whole "daylight" thing.

I could recap the two excellent goals between Vladimir Sobotka and Blake Wheeler, where Sobotka fought behind the net for about a million years until popping it out for Wheeler to tap it in, or the one where Wheeler set Sobotka up nicely, or I could talk about how the Bruins-Rangers game would still be going on if this were the playoffs and Gaborik wasn't on the Rangers or I could look at some statistics, which is probably much* more interesting.


So lets look at some thing then, shall we?

First up: Our powerplay. It stinks out loud. The year 1224 was a pretty boring year, history-wise. A Brother Leo happened to witness St. Francis of Assisi have a vision and get stigmata. Maybe that would help things, Lucic was out with a hand thing anyhow. And Savard with a foot thing. HMMMMMMMMMMMM

In case you were wondering, it's not the worst powerplay in the league. It's just the second-worst. The panthers are worse but they're the panthers, not last year's 4th-best PP. (Note: last year's worst PP was the Columbus Bluejackets and they made the playoffs anyways) Of course the fact that we're missing Savard and Kessel hurts in that respect, so there you go.

Yeesh, time flies when you're having fun. I will be using historical events to explain the Bruins PP% for a while I think. For example, the league-leading Flyers have a 28.07% PP, or FLYING CARS MOTHERFUCKERS in historical reference.

Here's to flying cars on the powerplay.