Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Last Time the Bruins won the Cup...

...Watergate was just a hotel.
...Atari wasn't yet a company, and Pong not yet a game.
...We were still drafting kids for Vietnam...and Jane Fonda hadn't taken her famous picture on the anti-aircraft gun.
...The ATF was part of the IRS.
...The 1972 Olympics hadn't happened yet.
...Bob Barker had never hosted The Price Is Right.
...The Summit Series of 1972 had never happened.
...They only hired men into the FBI.
...Nixon hadn't been re-elected yet.
...they were still sending manned missions to the moon.
...the Steelers had never won a postseason game.
...Busta Rhymes, Biggie Smalls, Manny Ramirez, Derian Hatcher, Andy Pettite, Ginger Spice, Del, Ben Affleck, Cameron Diaz, Chris Tucker, Liam Ghallager, Gwyneth Paltrow, Eminem, Wyclef Jean, Rodney Harrison, Jude Law hadn't been born yet.
...Jackie Robinson, Ezra Pound, Harry S Truman were still alive.

And that's just what happened in the second half of 1972.  Been a while, eh?  Let's go get some this year, folks.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Report on State of the Bruins

Well, State of the Bruins is over, Lucic showed off the third jersey and it looks a heck of a lot like the one they showed off last year. Also, I learned that people who write about the Bruins as a job generally will beat me to the punch on anything like this. So you can read Fluto's and Bish's reports. Some things to add:

  • Julien mentioned that if Ryder didn't pick up, he'd just have to remind him "of a bag skate I had him do when he was 17. I don't think he wants to do that again."
  • Phil Kessel is talent, everybody knows that. Julien said he "can't let him off the hook."
  • There were a couple of reasonable requests from fans, like "If you're not going to make new program books for every game, can you give season-ticket-holders free roster printouts?" The money quote was "I already have 3 or 4 of these books at home." Personally, I print those out for free myself, but if the Bruins could do it for me, that would be great too. I went to a Minnesota Wild game last season and the program was specific to that game, with full-color pictures throughout and stuff on the wild and on the other team. They also had a custom game intro for a game in December against the Oilers. It was a sick game.
  • Charlie Jacobs said that one of the reasons that Game 6 last year was so huge was that the building was rocking. Cam Neely compared it to the old Garden. Guys, you should really look into student rush instead of student nights. There are a ton of Boston fans that would really enjoy going to Bruins games, but can't afford it. Look into Pittsburgh's student rush program.
  • There was talk of bringing back Bruins Alumni, similar to what happened in Chicago last year. Neely mentioned that there were a lot of bruins alumni in the boston area, that he'd like to bring back. Now they just have to stop hating the team. Charlie, you should get together with Rocky Wirtz and learn a thing or million.
I'm also starting to learn about just how much people hate Jeremy Jacobs. Few people clapped for him at the event, and the internet is full of anti-Jacobs stuff. Just check out his wikipedia page. I didn't realize he bought the team so long ago. Ah well, it's a learning opportunity.

As is this post. I had great plans for it (I took ten pages of notes at the event and took pictures) but I'm suffering PensBlogitis. Already. Without their dedicated readership and insanity. Oh well, they always say the second issue is the hardest.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

So It Begins

Tonight marks the start of the Bruins season for me, as I'll be attending the Bruins "State of the Union" (BrUnion?) at the Garden tonight at 7pm.  If you have any questions I should ask (if there even is an opportunity) leave them in the comments.  

If I had an iPhone, you better believe I'd be live-blogging the event.  Unfortunately, I'll just have to take notes and get back to you.  The Bruins also never got back to me about my press pass application.  Maybe my lack of an editor is to blame, maybe they just don't know what they're missing. 

Some links to tide you over:
  • Better-than-being-the-leafs Dept:  Here Comes the Bruins! lays out why the Thornton trade wasn't that bad.  Let me cut to the chase for you:
Average games played last season: 52.8
Average points scored last season: 28.4 (not counting goalies)

Yikes. Put that roster on the ice today and you've got yourself a 
lottery draft pick. About half a dozen of these guys will not start the season on an NHL squad. Only Thornton, Rolston and Knuble have avoided career collapse of some sort... and they're not exactly what you'd consider the core of a dynasty.
  • Weight-Gain-3000 Dept:  Tukka Rask, Mark Stuart, and David Krecji all bulked up over the offseason.
  • Real-Journalists Dept: Fluto gives us a killer Depth Chart.
  • I'm extremely jealous that Chris over at Icethetics has time during the day to hold a live blog, but I'm happy that he is able to let me know that the Hurricanes are going to be unveiling their new third jersey today, and showing it live on their web site.
  • sold out of NHL 09, continuing to give them a horrendous track record when it comes to day-of-release sales with me.  I'll have to wait until next week to start my EASHL career.
And from the Wild branch office:
  • Franchise-deciding-years Dept: Marion Gaborik is negotiating with the Wild front office.
  • Can't-wait-til-the-season-starts Dept: Wild puck banter is counting down the top 10 players of the Minnesota Wild.  Number 6 is Nick Schultz.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Patrice, Tom, and Stephane

As stated before, crap.

However, I'm looking at a certain team 22 miles away from Gillette, and month and a day from beginning it's season.  They had a key player (some say the best player on the team - I'm not so sure) knocked out early in the season.  Granted, that one was from a dirty hit and a half, and damn near killed him.  Brady walked off the field.  

Regardless, it was a huge hit to the Bs season last year, though people were saying that Boston would be last in the East last year.  They were of course proven wrong, and it was quite exciting.  Well, for me, at least.  Better luck next year, Buffalo.  You should've taken your stacked team from two years ago through everything.

As for this year, I should probably be making some sort of prediction here.  There will be one forthcoming.  For now, get excited about Stephane Yelle, who lived next to Andrew "CrosbyFighter" Ference in Calgary:  (ok, so he'd rather be known for his charity work)
“His nickname is sandbox,” said Andrew of Stephane. “He is just full of grit.”
Should fit right in with the rest of the Big Bad Bruins.  I'm started to get pumped for not just Hockey coming back, but the Bruins coming back.  Training camp is coming....who among you will I be seeing at the rink on Saturday the 20th?


Sunday, September 7, 2008

Milan Lucic, Beast. Tom Brady, Injured. Bobby Orr, Joke?

First of all, from elsewhere in New England, fuck fuck fuck.

And back to hockey: I was over at HFBoards today, and I go pointed at a hilarious website:, which has gems like this:

We at NoMoreOrr believe that Bobby Orr is highly overrated and receives far too much praise for his "accomplishments". Our belief is that there are far more deserving players from modern hockey who deserve the spot in the Hall of Fame currently filled by Bobby Orr and our goal is to free up that spot for a more deserving candidate. Bobby Orr's talent level was nothing compared to that of today's players and quite frankly, we're tired of hearing about him.
It must be a farce. I take it about as seriously as

Looks like the Bruins have gotten their own putter. Happy Gilmore would love it.

It seems that nobody including TSN can do a preview of the Bruins without mentioning that the rest of the teams in boston that are doing things like making it past the first round of the playoffs...I personally can't wait until I'm going to Bs games in May, though I'm not sure if that'll be .

TSN also says that Milan Lucic is the face of the franchise going forward. I like the guy, definitely, and hope he continues to grow in the direction he's going. I'm just not sure he's face-of-the-franchise just yet. He was 11th on the team in goals with 8 (the 11th-highest goalscorer had 8 goals? We should score more) 7th in assists with 19, for 10th in points with 27. Then again, he's only behind Zdeno Chara in PIM, with 89. Also, he's been known to make som clutch plays. People say he's the second coming of Cam Neely, and I hope they're right. Oh, those boys from Vancouver, what will they do next?

Well, I think Joe Pelletier is from around there, and he's trying to stir up some controversy with his Two Goalies, One Net post.

Well, that about wraps it up for my rambling. See y'all tomorrow!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Lazy Links on a Friday (NSFW)

A word of warning before you read this: Usually I try not to be low-brow, but hey, it's funny in this case, and in some ways fitting. That said, the story below is NSFW, y'all, but it's Friday, so whatever.

A couple of links for you on a friday evening:

  • Here Come the Bruins! has a top 5 Bruins YouTube videos list. It goes really well until #1.
  • NESN had Game 6 from last year's playoffs, that was a great game.
  • The new Bobby Orr's Bastard talks about Media Overexposure Hangover and why it's making him a Bruins fan. Hopefully, more will follow and then either Bob Kraft or John Henry will buy the team.
  • The Bruins have released that they will be participating in the pay more for games that will likely be good program so popular in the NHL these days. If I didn't have season tickets already, I'd be mad.
  • Fluto Shinzawa has some video from Ristuccia arena about training camp. Well, sort of. He also updated about 30 times today.
  • Good news from the Bruins: I can go to some of the training camp at the TD Banknorth Garden. Can't wait.
  • And, lastly, here's your (dirty) Mats Sundin Madlibs Press Release, courtesy of NHL Fanhouse and my roommates, who don't know who Mats Sundin is:

Today, Mats Sundin made a big decision regarding his future. His agent, Zortog, announced that Mats has signed a contract with DuceTek to play professional Masturbation. The length of the deal is 7 years for 7 million dollars. In a statement released through his agent Zortog, Mats did not comment on whether or not he would return to the NHL, but he did have the following to say about his newest endeavor.

"I'd like to thank the good people at DuceTek," Sundin said. "They have been very good to me and their Fluffing is clearly the best in their industry. I'm looking forward to using Fluffing a lot to Masturbate."

It is still not clear at this time if Mats will return to the NHL this Epoch. He has reportedly set a deadline for Game Time but even Mats admits that is not a hard deadline. To try and clear his head and think things through Mats has gone to Shaw's with Lady Liberty for Epoch. There he is Masturbating and Fondling. The latter really helps Mats to increase Stamina.

So there you have it, folks. Still no decision from Mats Sundin, but he is now a professional Masturbator. That crazy, Mats! You never know what he'll do next.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Games without slaughtered animals and other KHL innovations (brought to you by Google Language Tools)

So, the KHL english site doesn't exist yet or the link is broken, which means that we all get to use Google Language tools  to follow our favorite teams (or just for the joy of looking at stat sheets, whatever floats your boat.)

Anyhow, the stat sheet has some interesting Statistics in it, such as:

  • Winnings in Poslematchevyh Bullets 
  • Loss of Bullets Poslematchevyh
I assume those two are shootout wins and losses.  However, with the Russian police the way they have been recently, it could be something else.  The real winners, though, are these guys:
  • Games without slaughtered animals
  • Games without missing head
I believe those are for and against, but I really want to believe that they are in fact actual statistics translated properly.  PETA will be in touch.  Perhaps Tuvanhillbilly or Alex Ovejtkin blog can tell me for real.  Then there are the other funny translations:
  • Zabitov Goals
  • Ignored Goals

The situations include "in unequal convoys," which is easy enough to figure out, but I imagine involves one team having a better traveling bus than another.

Also, it looks like their point system is:
3 points regulation win
2 points overtime win
1 point overtime loss
0 points regulation loss

I can't wait until there's a real english site so I can actually start looking into this stuff rather than making fun of the automatic translator.  Or for the NHL season to begin.  Whichever comes first.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Happy September!

Well, I've finally got internet in my place, and I am ready to start doing some blogging....once I get everything set up. The big news right now is that the Bruins just picked up Stephane Yelle, who helped Ray Bourque win the cup and then was traded the next year to Calgary. Some other fun things about Mr. Yelle:

  • Mile High Hockey thinks he was the 15th best Av of all time.
  • THN said he was the 9th best player still looking for a team as of right before he got signed. Actually, hmmm... that was posted at 3pm, and the news broke at.... 3:41pm. Rats, I was hoping the thing posted late.
  • Puck Daddy's season preview may be a little off now, with this signing. It's still a good read, with yet another dig at Tukka Rask's name. Well, Tuskan Raider is closer than Caveman.
  • I'm wondering if he'll be back in #26 like he was with the avs, as the other two he's worn (11 and 7 with the Flames) are taken, by what number he'll wear, since 7 is retired, and P.J.'s got #11. Probably, or maybe he'll go with a whole new one. It won't take long to find out.
I'm excited that Hockey Season is coming! My new apartment has NHL Network...between that and NHL 09, I may never leave my house again.