Harrumph. 3-4-3 is not a good record by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, it could be worse. With our superstar center Marc Savard out, the Bruins aren't doing so hot. Let's take a look at where we stack up...
.500
We've been at this record or so for pretty much the whole year. You don't make the playoffs at .500. You don't get a lottery pick either, unless Toronto comes through. In his season preview, Down Goes Brown mentioned that the Bruins lockerroom chemistry would suffer because they're not united by wanting to punch Phil Kessel in the face. They'll get a chance in a couple weeks, so maybe that will help. Oh, and Savard and Lucic coming back.
This is the Bruins PP percentage. It is the worst in the league. In the year 1286, King Philip IV of France imposed the gabelle — a tax on salt in the form of a state monopoly — which would become immensely unpopular and grossly unequal, but persist until 1790. I'm still waiting for flying cars, here, people, and we're regressing. Please come back and save us all, Mr. Savard.
This is the Bruins PK percentage, good for 3rd best behind San Jose and Chicago. Damn right, we've got the best PK in the east right now. The Bruins have been shutting down PKs and vomiting all over themselves on PPs. Google tells me that there was a "Species 8472" in one of the star treks after The Next Generation, so who cares really, but I went to all the effort of checking it out and now you're reading it so who's got the egg on their face now?
Thank you to the Minnesota Wild (dammit) and the Anaheim Ducks (haha, eat shit) for having more Short-handed goals against than the Bruins do.
This is the Bruins Simple Rating System number for today. Higher is better, and yes it can go positive. This is good for 19th best, which is actually slightly better than their points percentage rankings. 22 is Shawn Thornton's jersey number. Not sure what the significance is of that, if anyone out there reading this (hi mom!) is a numerologist, please get in touch or leave a comment.
Toronto First round draft pick watch: 3-11-5 (29th in the league): TYLER SEGUIN!
Tyler is the #1 ranked OHL player right now, which is the league Taylor Hall plays in. Carolina looks to be Tanking for TH right now, though. Oh look, the two teams play each other tomorrow. Root for Aaron Ward, guys!
Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse.
12.86%
This is the Bruins PP percentage. It is the worst in the league. In the year 1286, King Philip IV of France imposed the gabelle — a tax on salt in the form of a state monopoly — which would become immensely unpopular and grossly unequal, but persist until 1790. I'm still waiting for flying cars, here, people, and we're regressing. Please come back and save us all, Mr. Savard.
84.72%
This is the Bruins PK percentage, good for 3rd best behind San Jose and Chicago. Damn right, we've got the best PK in the east right now. The Bruins have been shutting down PKs and vomiting all over themselves on PPs. Google tells me that there was a "Species 8472" in one of the star treks after The Next Generation, so who cares really, but I went to all the effort of checking it out and now you're reading it so who's got the egg on their face now?
Thank you to the Minnesota Wild (dammit) and the Anaheim Ducks (haha, eat shit) for having more Short-handed goals against than the Bruins do.
-0.22
This is the Bruins Simple Rating System number for today. Higher is better, and yes it can go positive. This is good for 19th best, which is actually slightly better than their points percentage rankings. 22 is Shawn Thornton's jersey number. Not sure what the significance is of that, if anyone out there reading this (hi mom!) is a numerologist, please get in touch or leave a comment.
Toronto First round draft pick watch: 3-11-5 (29th in the league): TYLER SEGUIN!
Tyler is the #1 ranked OHL player right now, which is the league Taylor Hall plays in. Carolina looks to be Tanking for TH right now, though. Oh look, the two teams play each other tomorrow. Root for Aaron Ward, guys!
Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be worse.
GO BRUINS!
2 Comments:
"Things could be worse"
Considering .500 is a lofty goal for my Canes this year, you should be rejoicing that your team has managed more than one regulation win this year. Trust me, things can get a lot worse...
And I particularly liked the part about 1286. Now I can stump all my friends at Trivia Night! Score!
"Bruins have been shutting down PKs and vomiting all over themselves on PPs."
Yep, I'm headed over to Twitter to quote you. Awesome.
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