Friday, September 5, 2008

Lazy Links on a Friday (NSFW)

A word of warning before you read this: Usually I try not to be low-brow, but hey, it's funny in this case, and in some ways fitting. That said, the story below is NSFW, y'all, but it's Friday, so whatever.

A couple of links for you on a friday evening:

  • Here Come the Bruins! has a top 5 Bruins YouTube videos list. It goes really well until #1.
  • NESN had Game 6 from last year's playoffs on...man, that was a great game.
  • The new Bobby Orr's Bastard talks about Media Overexposure Hangover and why it's making him a Bruins fan. Hopefully, more will follow and then either Bob Kraft or John Henry will buy the team.
  • The Bruins have released that they will be participating in the pay more for games that will likely be good program so popular in the NHL these days. If I didn't have season tickets already, I'd be mad.
  • Fluto Shinzawa has some video from Ristuccia arena about training camp. Well, sort of. He also updated about 30 times today.
  • Good news from the Bruins: I can go to some of the training camp at the TD Banknorth Garden. Can't wait.
  • And, lastly, here's your (dirty) Mats Sundin Madlibs Press Release, courtesy of NHL Fanhouse and my roommates, who don't know who Mats Sundin is:

Today, Mats Sundin made a big decision regarding his future. His agent, Zortog, announced that Mats has signed a contract with DuceTek to play professional Masturbation. The length of the deal is 7 years for 7 million dollars. In a statement released through his agent Zortog, Mats did not comment on whether or not he would return to the NHL, but he did have the following to say about his newest endeavor.

"I'd like to thank the good people at DuceTek," Sundin said. "They have been very good to me and their Fluffing is clearly the best in their industry. I'm looking forward to using Fluffing a lot to Masturbate."

It is still not clear at this time if Mats will return to the NHL this Epoch. He has reportedly set a deadline for Game Time but even Mats admits that is not a hard deadline. To try and clear his head and think things through Mats has gone to Shaw's with Lady Liberty for Epoch. There he is Masturbating and Fondling. The latter really helps Mats to increase Stamina.

So there you have it, folks. Still no decision from Mats Sundin, but he is now a professional Masturbator. That crazy, Mats! You never know what he'll do next.

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