Look, I know that things are looking very down and apparently we need to blow up the team or something and trade everyone or else the bruins will never win another game.
Just look at Pierre LeBrun's article over on that pinnacle of hockey coverage, ESPN.
"But I can tell you one thing, I'm not trading Toronto's pick [for this year]," said Chiarelli. "I am not trading it. That pick is too valuable."
You have no idea how glad that makes me. Now lets attack a troubling line from the article:
"The Bruins, who...currently sit one point out of a playoff spot" Bullshit. Stop right there, Pierre. As it turns out, every team plays 82 games. Once you've got that little tidbit in your brain let's look at the Games Played stat.
Three teams ahead of Boston have the same amount of games played as Boston: Buffalo, New Jersey, and Philadelphia. Buffalo and New Jersey are so far ahead right now they'd have to suffer dramatically for us to catch up. Philadelphia is one of the teams between 6 and 12 that is at either 55 or 54 points right now.
Two teams have one more game played than Boston: Washington and Atlanta. Washington is in the same category as Buffalo and NJ, and Atlanta has the same point total.
Three teams have 2 more games played than Boston: both New York teams and Florida. They're all in that 55 or 54 bubble as well.
Four teams have 3 more games played than Boston: Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, Pittsburgh. Peter already told us about Toronto's season, Montreal is bubbling along, and Ottawa and Pittsburgh are at 62 and 67 points right now.
Going by the absolute standings the Bruins are in 12th right now. However, if you go by points percentage, the Bruins are in 7th. Let me repeat that:
7th ain't so bad. 7th is, in fact, a playoff spot. And that's what we've achieved with a crippled team that's been in a slump and lost the last 5 games. What I'm saying is the Bruins aren't screwed yet. But that bubble's going to burst eventually and I hope we don't sell the future now for some crap rental.
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I figured it out:
The Bruins lost to Carolina in spectacular fashion for two reasons: Boost Carolina and make themselves look bad. Carolina is now going to go on a tear for the rest of the season, finishing 9th in the east, just out of playoff contention. Meanwhile, they will do so while stomping all over the Leafs, who the Bruins will also squash in the rest of their games this season, pushing them down to last. Edmonton will not-suck just enough to beat out Toronto, who will win the loser's lotto.
While this is all happening, the Bruins will trade their own first-round pick for "someone big." This will happen because of their recent self-destruction and the apparent value of the Bruins' round 1 pick. After the trade, everyone will "suddenly" remember how to play and we'll win for a while, making the playoffs. That's as far as my crystal ball goes though.
shhhh don't give up our secret
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