Nathan Horton: The Goomba

Yeah I've been gone for a while but there hasn't been a whole lot going on, so I'm about ready to write some things. I've got the itch and the same thing keeps popping up time after time:

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM LOOK AT NATHAN HORTON'S GIANT FOREHEAD!

I mean, have you seen the man? I'm hoping he jumps immediately into the category of "I don't care if he's got a face tattoo, as long as he scores goals like this:

Oh yes, I'll take one of those please.

So yeah, let's get into it. I'm excited about the guy, you're excited about the guy (or you should be you ignoramous or fan of another team) and who wouldn't be? Heck, back in 2009 someone thought he was awesome enough to make a custom NHL 09 cover:

Great work, Custom Sports Covers! They did another one for NHL10, actually. And a Thomas NHL10. Whatever. Here's a Powerplay snnnnnnnipe on one Jonathan Quick:

Yes, yes, yes, Horton!

So what about statistically? Well, first of all he's had 20 goals in each of the last 5 years but you probably already heard that one about a million times. Well, I have anyhow. Let's see, last year he was 4th on the Panthers in GVT, and second in Defensive Value. GVT is a little odd because you're better off comparing to the team than the whole league. Either way, a big part of that Florida team. And then he comes up here, a goal-scoring talent who just squeezed 20 goals out of Stephen Weiss, Michael Frolik, and the corpse of David Booth. Oh, did I mention 7 of his 57 points were in concert with Dennis Seidenberg? Oh, probably should've mentioned that one.

Lucic-Savard-Horton? I need a napkin.

He's also fought a couple guys you may remember: Hal Gill, Arron Asham, Tim Gleason, etc. Of course, that was all a couple years ago. According to HockeyFights.com, his last fight was in the 08-09 preseason: Dropping the Purse with Ryan O'Byrne. The video isn't on youtube, so instead watch Horton try to take on the hilariously larger Hal Gill:

Look at him try to pick up Gill. What?

So we shouldn't really expect much in that department from him. Oh well. We've got Thornton and friends to take care of face-punching. What this team needs is goals and I'm pumped at the thought we might actually get some this year.

All that aside, and I think most importantly, he looks like a Goomba:

Thanks to random Puck Daddy Commenter "Richard R" for pointing this out.

GO Goomba!

GO BRUINS!