Friday, July 2, 2010

Free Agency Day One Review: Boogey-ing with a big Jokinen

Let's see here, anything big happen yesterday?

On the Bruins front, we didn't overpay for anybody, and that's just awesome. It was a really really weak Free Agent market and some people definitely got overpaid as a result. First up on that list, and most hilarious signing of the day: Derek Boogaard.
Here's a statline, courtesy of TSN and the something awful forums:
January 7th, 2006: Boogard's last goal.
So yeah, he's getting 1.65 million per year for the next 4 years per TSN. Thank goodness for Glen Sather or we'd have nothing to write about on free agency days.

Yeah, 1.65 million for a guy who nobody even bothers fighting anymore. He's had a negative GVT for the last couple of years, which means that he is literally worse than your average AHL scrub callup. Yeah, enjoy that 5 minutes a night of stony glares and some huge punches. Plus that fight camp for kids ought to be a hit with inner-city youth. Maybe he'll get a cameo on Rescue Me, though. Meh.
He was a fan favorite with the Wild but I'm thinking most of those jerseys were bought a couple years ago rather than recently. It's kinda telling that on the Minnesota Wild PONDcast special interview with him on his way out of town, they ask about the lack of goals for years. John Scott also got picked up by Chicago, and I'm sure they'll move him to forward and make Luongo cry like a little girl. Again.

In more news about former northwestern division players signing hilarious deals with terrible GMs, it's time to talk the Olli Jokinen signing. Yeah, he signed with Calgary again. If you don't remember, Olli was a Flame after a couple of trades. Post-lockout he was sent to the Coyotes. That's where the fun begins. He was traded from Phoenix to Calgary for Calgary's first round pick, then run out of town by Calgary for being a cancer in the dressing room. (See also: Dion Phaneuf to Toronto). What did Calgary give up in the Phoenix trade? A first-round pick. Then they got back Ales Kotalik (who sucked so much he was bought out) and Chris Higgins (still a UFA) from New York for him. He was the last New York player to touch the puck in the 09-10 season, famously not scoring in a shootout which allowed the Flyers to make the playoffs.

If that doesn't get you chuckling, maybe this picture or my severe lack of an editor will:
(How to draw Olli Jokinen)

Ridiculous gong show in Calgary, that. I suggest looking at Ryan Lambert's twitter for reactions. Yup, that about covers it.

In actual Bruins news, the Bruins re-signed Paille to a fair 1.075 Million/year for the next 2 years and Jeremy Reich got re-signed as well. Considering Reich couldn't sniff the Islanders roster last year, I would be surprised to see him up in Boston. Eh, no biggie.

Anyhow, time to watch some soccer. Hit up Four Habs Fans for a pretty ladies preview of that, if you're into pretty ladies.